This cycle of rejections, fear of failure and lack of other options is a vicious loop I'm unable to break. I'm so close to being homeless with just a few months of runway left in my account. I have 7 years of experience and a Masters degree in Computer Science.
Any advice is welcome.
More time spent practicing and interviewing is going to be the most effective thing you can possibly do.
1. Do leetcode every day.
Work on one new concept/algorithm every day. Go deep. Look at others solns. Go back every day and resolve new problems of previously learned algorithms.
It will be slow at first but by the more time you spend here the better and faster you will become.
After you have a semi solid base, put on pressure, time yourself and do contests.
2. Do mock interviews. Friends, family, online. I used interviewing.io. for me it was worth it.
As many as possible. One a day if possible.
3. Do real interview as much as you can. Don't say no even if you aren't prepped.
Your first 5 interviews are failures. After that you will see that you will be dramatically more confident, relaxed and competent.
Adhd specific. For me meds (Vyvanse) helped a lot. Especially for focus during the interviews. Experiment with timing and dosage.
My preference was to take a slightly higher dose about 1hr before interview so that I felt "in". But everyone's different.
Finally, gotta remember that failure is part of the process. Nothing different about interviews then studying for a test or going to gym.
I only mention it because it can help balance out an ADHD stimulant (and anxiety is commonly co-morbid with ADHD).
1) Anki is a life saver for interviews: in the short term, it helps me memorize and review stuff about the company in advance. In the long term, it helps me memorize IT related stuff, and even leet code exercise. This maximize the chances I'll be able to answer without having to search through my memory.
2) I try to engage with the information I need to memorize in different formats (Text, Video, Image, Mindmaps, etc...). This helps me build multiple paths in my head to find the same information, which then makes it easier to remember it on the spot. Betterexplained has a pretty good framework for that, ADEPT : Analogies, Diagrams, Examples, Plain English, traditional definition.
3) Anxiety makes the symptoms worse, so I try to jog and meditate on a daily basis. Journaling is also extremely helpful, since it allows to get things off your chest and mind.
4) The brain fog is more intense after doing something stimulating, so if I know I need to focus, I try no to play video games, watch movies, etc...
5) The state of what's in my head is always kind of like the state of my apartment, so I try to keep it clean
6) A bad diet makes the symptoms worse, so if yours isn't good try to follow the usual recommendations.
7) Not eating enough, and not eating often enough can have a huge impact. This can especially be a problem for us since the medication can stop you from feeling hunger.
8) Similarly, when you're not hydrated enough, your ability to focus drops, and the first signs of a lack of hydration isn't thirst, so make sure to regularly drink water regardless of whether or not you feel thirsty.
9) Practice out loud different ways of responding to questions commonly asked, and questions you feel they might ask you. That's kind of like what I do to retain information: Building different paths to the same information so that I won't freeze during the interview.
10) You already know that you'll never be able to be perfectly prepared, so prepare in advance things to say when you're asked something you're not able to answer on the spot, things to gain time as well as things to say when you can't answer.
11) Since you still have some leeway, treat the first few interviews you'll do as experiments, and after each one of those, look at the results, identify what went wrong, make some hypothesis on what could you do to fix it, and try it out in the next one.
12) Join a community of people sharing your struggles.
13) Get your 8h of sleep
I honestly recommend trying to desensitise yourself to rejection by applying for jobs you don’t want/wont get, so you can get used to experiencing rejection in low stakes situations (basically in situations where you’re not going to be bothered if you don’t get the job). I’ve done this most of the last few years. I’ll occasionally apply for jobs I don’t want or scholarships I know I don’t meet the criteria for, and get rejected. I’m always surprised at how even when I don’t want a job, I can still be so sensitive about the rejection, but I’m proud to say that I’m getting used to rejection. More often than not now when I get a rejection email I just shrug it off. The past year has been a bit of a break through though thanks to my conscious decision to go for low stakes rejections on purpose (basically like a type of exposure therapy). I actually managed to ask a human being out in a real life situation (expecting to get rejected) and to my surprise they wanted to go out on a date with me. I applied for a job, and they flew me to the HQ just today actually for an interview. When you face your fears head on, I find that more doors seem to open for you, and life gets a bit more interesting. For anyone who struggles with rejection sensitivity, I recommend looking for opportunities to experience rejections in low stake situations.
I'm 48 and was diagnosed at 40. I've just accepted that ADHD makes things harder than for others and I work with my limitations. Have you tried going for slightly less challenging job interviews to get back into stability and then you can be more relaxed in advancing your career once you've found your feet again?
I've learned the most that I can do is show up. Best wishes with your interviews.
A big thing for me is preparing my space to be able to get into hyper-focus mode. Do the dishes, clean the house, have everything else that can rob you of your focus out of the way.
You can take this same approach leading up to an interview. An hour or so beforehand, how can you get the flywheel moving to be in "productive" mode by the time the interview starts? Think about a few options here.
Action yields action, so getting the momentum going and keeping it moving helps you feel accomplished. When you feel accomplished, you feel better about yourself and you introduce a positive feedback loop.
You got this.
Second, lean into your network. It is harder to impress people you don't know, if you have someone on the inside that can give you a referral, help you prep, that can make all of the difference.
Third, consider if you are applying for jobs that make things harder for you. I.e. I found out the hard way, that I will never be a self-motivating solo dev. I am a decent ops-guy, can do SRE and currently have great time working as reasonably senior QE at RedHat.
Fourth, this might hurt your motivation, but also help your anxiety and maybe give you a break to sort out the meds/therapy/support - few months runway is the time to consider what is the worst case scenario. Does it mean you go to your parents (might not be possible, but if it is just really awkward, it could beat being homeless), does it mean mhaving to move to a place with lower cost-of-life (this cost money and could eat a bunch of your runway), does it mean "I am an uber-driver now and crash of a friends couch" or you are literally at risk for living out of a tent? Time to make that scary/annoying plan is now.
You sound like a smart guy. Demonstrate that with your practiced expertise, not your academic prowess.
Also consider sliding into operations or project management. ADHD is a super power for rapid multitasking.
Caveat: you need someone willing to take a chance on you and they needed someone with a software engineer profile.
ADHD is a disability so ask for accomodations like more time to think.
1. Write up some really basic bullet points for the stuff that commonly gets asked like, “Tell me about a time where you failed/had a disagreement/etc.” Just something you can quickly glance at and keep your thoughts on track, like “Failure: Project X,” “Success: Project Y,” “Disagreement: Coworker Z” 2. Put that on a sticky note at the edge of your screen or on your desk in front of you so you can glance at it if you need to remind yourself 3. If it’s on the phone instead of a video call or in-person, sit in front of a mirror and watch yourself to help keep yourself engaged, focused, and prevent getting distracted. Walking around a bit can help if your fidgety. 4. I always request a video call instead of an audio-only one so that I can see a face and try to keep my brain engaged with the discussion.
For Technical Interviews:
It’s sort a crapshoot and you never know what you’re going to get.
Some folks succeed by grinding LeetCode so all that stuff is fresh in their brains, but that’s never worked for me. If you can find some way to get interested or curious and get into a flow or hyper focus state, it can work, but it can be hard to find that spot.
Advent of Code can be a fun way to basically do LeetCode problems with a little storyline to them. It helps if you can come up with a good framework to help break the puzzles down into their underlying principles.
Try to find out as much about the process and expectations as you can. Be honest when you hit a point where you know there’s a better approach, but you aren’t sure what it is right now.
If it’s one of those ones where you can’t use the Internet like we all do every day for our jobs, you can always just nope out if it’s going poorly and avoid the anxiety or pseudocode it and talk about the approach you’d take. Most interviewers are human and some companies remember that we are all human, but some are looking for a machine. Your brain might not be a good fit for the machine-seekers.
Scour your network, and your network’s network, for good referrals. After you have a couple of interviews that go well and are in a good head space, try to get a referral or two.
Don’t spend all day doomscrolling job boards and applying. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but it’s so draining.
Good luck out there. The job market is rough right now.
Also, remember that some random interviewers opinion after 30 minutes to an hour of talking or whiteboarding or whatever doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t reflect on you or your abilities.