Quit stimulants, productivity suffering

I stopped taking amphetamine stimulants for similar reasons and with a similar outcome.

I ended up getting a prescription for Provigil (modafinil), a non-amphetamine stimulant.

It’s not nearly as dopaminergic as amphetamine, decidedly non-euphoric, but more motivationally stimulating than caffeine.

I found that the dose response lends itself well to former addicts, where taking the recommended dosage (100mg for me) does not result in a “high” nor does taking 3-4x that dosage, and is quite unpleasant to do so.

As well as being long lived, a single dose lasting 10-12 hours, not a time release formulation mind you, reduces the moreish hunger of short duration stimulants.

There is an interesting question underlying this scenario - is working in a cutthroat culture "normal" in the first place? If you needed stimulants to succeed there, and are trying to now live a healthier life, does that job even fit in that healthier life? Or should the answer to your question be more along the lines of finding a new role where your productivity meshes better with the expectations?

I hate that at times, it feels I'm postponing the same outcome.

I was able to come back to 30mg Vyvanse daily, 50mg made me super impatient, fight with my gf and just be short-tempered with everyone, plus the productivity window was always reducing after some time.

But even at 30mg, it's just not the same effect as 14 years ago of course, and taking breaks can only do so much. Now 30mg feels like enough just for getting out of bed and doing a normal day.

Low dose (25mg) sertraline for a few months fixed the temper thing. Good sleep is a must. Still finding a way to take it easy and reduce the stimulant further, I'm still able to engage on technical things deeply that interest me and live my life fine, but I'm not cut out for the stress of a more senior position, not unless I start to make compromises, so that's not the avenue I'm pursuing at least.

I do have ADHD, diagnosed as a kid and the pattern worsened in college until I started treatment, if that matters.

you just gotta rawdog it and learn how to function without it.

you're chasing two rabbits here: a short-term one and a long-term one.

you're smart enough to know which of those two matters more.

you're smart enough to know all those energy and focus you had is just borrowed time.

you're smart enough to know you've been digging yourself in a hole of massive withdrawal which can take weeks and months.

you're smart enough to know that substituting it with other uppers like caffeine, nicotine, will still keep you dependent.

just rawdog it cold turkey, exercise consistently, get rid of junk food, eat meats and veggies, hydrate properly, and rest enough.

just suck it up and etch in your head that getting yourself back kn track takes time and there will be no immediate results.

sculpting art from a block of marble takes time, it will be days and weeks of you doing the same damn thing even if you dont enjoy it, even if you dont feel good about it, even if you dont see your desired outcomes yet.

Stimulants? Like coffee?

Or am I being really naive right now?

If it's anything stronger than coffee, here's my recommendation:

1. Wim Hof Method from time to time (it boosts adrelanine temporarily)

2. Exercise (boosts all kinds of stuff)

3. Breathing meditation to train your attention

I haven't ingested stimulants since university, but a few surprising things put me in that familiar state of deep, almost euphoric concentration. I don't know why any of these work; it's up to you to determine how crazy I am.

1. NAC. I don't like this because it also seems to cause heartburn and blunts me.

2. Home brewed kefir. Overbrewing has the opposite effect, so you have to be diligent about changing the grains every 24 hours.

3. Saline + iodine + baby shampoo nasal rinse. The weirdest one, but I swear it's true. Literally clears the head.

All of these are relatively cheap and low risk.

Were you taking stimulants for a condition (ADHD etc)?

Amphetamine Stimulants affect those with ADHD differently to neurotypical people, so use with much caution.

In the case of recreational or dependant use (non-medical use etc) Perhaps seek professional help. Additionally consider the pressures of a FAANG workplace and whether it is the right fit for you.

No matter the money, I could not work in a fast-paced, cutthroat environment. I need fair-paced and understanding etc

Reading r/decaf you see a lot of people saying it takes about 6 months to reach a new normal after years of daily caffeine use. The brain has to rebuild and recover. I'd imagine for stronger stimulants it will be similar. Maybe try to taper off?

I would recommend going to some online NA or Smart Recovery meetings. At the levels you probably took it at (I think I’m making a good assumption here) it’s most likely prescription pill abuse - addiction. What you are feeling right now is withdrawal. You reinforced the behavior with working with a drug and now the drug is gone. This is the same thing people that get off any drug/alcohol are going through right now, and you will find solidarity and support in those groups.

There are literally online zoom meetings 24/7, google around. You don’t have to say anything, just listen.

Have you considered talking with a mental health professional?

I ask because it sounds more nuanced than another person’s “it works on my machine” is likely to address.

And your employer probably provides an EAP benefit that covers it. This is why.

I drink coffee that's a mix of 33% regular / 66% swiss-water decaf. It's the best of both worlds, you can keep yourself awake but you're not getting the huge highs and lows of regular coffee.

My flow has been massively stable since I started doing this.

Do you have ADHD? Maybe you should be using stimulants…

Start eating keto and get good sleep. Stay quiet and dont admit to lowered productivity, let the mistakes happen and be friendly.

Are you comfortable to say which stimulant that is?

Maybe change teams or even downlevel?

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