HACKER Q&A
📣 _bphh

Struggling with inattention but don't have ADHD


For years I've been extremely envious of people with ADHD who, after starting treatment with drugs, exclaim "So this is what being normal is like? Being able to just do things?". That has never been my experience. There only two types of tasks in my life, the ones that immediately grab my attention with the strength of a boa constrictor (and these usually come and go) and those who I struggle a lot to focus on, very few in between.

I've finally gathered enough courage to seek an ADHD assessment, but it came back as negative (I cannot decide if I'm relieved or disappointed). From the conversations I had with my psychiatrist, I have no reason to doubt this result, as I always got mixed signals from the online info anyways.

However inattention/procrastination has a strong in impact in my life. I graduated uni below my expectations because I couldn't force myself to actually sit down and study. I wasted at least one big work opportunity (maybe two) for under performing (due to lack of effort, not skills). I cannot keep a hobby to save my life. I am scared of looking for new jobs with the fear that I won't be able to deal with a normal 9-to-5 workload (for reasons I don't fully understand I have been able to get away with putting very few actual hours on my current job).

Some random facts about me that might give you an idea of the extension of my inattention, hopefully some of you can relate:

* I can consistently focus on some things, specially cleaning and cooking for some reason * Every now and then I get a strong impetus to start a personal project, which I spend some time obsessed with, often putting other more important tasks to the side (guess what I should be doing instead of writing this post...) * I cannot watch films or series by myself at home. But I can easily focus when with company (specially of my husband), or in a cinema or airplane. Most media I consume is just youtube always at 2x speed * I do not use social media much, though I do lurk on twitter and of course HN * I am not burned out, I enjoy my current job and profession in general * I absolutely I cannot work from home. The most I can usually do is milk 1 or 2 hours of half-assed or unproductive work, often even less. During the pandemic I could go a whole week without doing any work * Pressure seems to be a factor. If something is on fire, I usually can bring myself to work * The kind of task is also a factor. In general if I can just dive into the meat of a task I can do it more or less expediently. If there is a hurdle (e.g. need to figure out how to setup a test before implementing a feature or bugfix), it can take me weeks to overcome it. * I mostly work well in the office (2 days a week in my current job), and that's where I can put most of my productive hours. Even then it's not entirely unusual for me to be able to waste more hours than I'd think it's normal, I just have to be more discreet on how I do that in office versus at home * My bosses never caught up with how few hours I have put into my job. I like to think it's because I'm a 200IQ sigma 77x developer, but it's probably just because my company pretty chill and light on the workload * My smartphone is not my main source of distraction, so getting rid of it won't help (I have tried)

Although the list above is mostly related to work, these points manifest in the similar ways with studies, hobbies, etc.

I don't wanna give a wrong impression, my life is good. This is what I'd call the mental health equivalent of a first-world problem, i.e. when all other big life problems (studies, finances, relationship, etc) are sorted, this kinda of issue becomes extremely grating, and now I have the time and money to try and address it, I just don't know how. So I would like to hear from people that have similar struggles that managed to deal with it one way or another (without ADHD drugs).

  👤 swfi652 Accepted Answer ✓
I've been there sometimes, usually when projects lack personal interactions with others (like having to report weekly or having to respond to a partner...). I always feel more motivated when I work with someone else, maybe because I don't want to let down anyone. When I have to do work alone, like figuring out something by myself, I try to give myself some bounded time for that task, like 30 minutes; if I don't solve it, then I go to something else that doesn't require a lot of focus for a while and come back later to the overwhelming task. Also, talking to others about that task can help as well.

Also, where did you get the ADHD assessment? I guess it was a certified psychologist. Didn't that person give you any advice?

I found it strange that you can't focus on hobbies either. Depression can lead to loss of concentration. If you think that could be the case, just look for a good professional.

Take care.

👤 gukov
Could be CPTSD, usually caused by a trauma from childhood. See if the YouTube videos speak to you.
👤 navjack27
Hello. I have severe ADHD. Focus is fine for me. Almost out of defiance or spite of others with ADHD and without seemingly being ditzy distractible annoying people to me, I've unconsciously decided to be hyper vigilant, I mean let's be real here, isn't it kind of passe to be like all of the other millions of people out there who seemingly always proclaim to be forgetful and distracted and seemingly also not mindful of their thought processes. My issue is motivation and this issue is the hardest thing of all to explain to people who don't get it. Volition and just the ability to do things, even things you want to do, comes at a great cost to my energy, getting started is hard. My life is impacted from my disability. I've had one job in my 36 years and that job was only like a month a couple years ago before I quit. I collect SSI (supplemental security income) food stamps and get my rent adjusted. My diagnosis at the age of 2 was readily apparent to everyone. I'm lucky in that respect.

Now I'm not dismissing your issue at all, personally I believe those with distractibility without motivation issues don't fit the bill entirely for ADHD, especially if there's also very little oppositional defiance.

Now you seem to be describing your focus in the terms of willpower. I don't know if you're doing that on purpose or out of habit or that's the only way that you view how focus works but maybe that could be a reality tunnel change that you can make for yourself.

So why do you consume YouTube 2x speed only and always? I watch everything at 1X speed but that's also because I have all the time in the world I'm guessing you have time pressures and you want to watch something that you want to watch and you don't have the time because you have poor time management skills?

How do you work from home? If you can't do work from home... How do you manage it when you tried? Do you dedicate a space that is only for working at home? Do you only use a work provided computer that is separate from everything else? Did you make sure to wake up in the morning take a shower put on some nice clothes and then "go to work" by going into that room that is dedicated for work at home and has your work computer?

Getting an ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse for a lack of knowing how to do things. It's not an excuse for not being able to structure yourself. In ADHD diagnosis is not an excuse and it's not anything that could fix anything. It's something that number one allows you to get medication if that helps. Number two it allows you to get focused therapies based on that (but you have to remember that therapy in itself doesn't actually help ADHD directly. There are occupational skills and life skills you could learn that I know I've learned over the years since I was 2 years old that I know other late diagnosed ADHD people Don't seem to have.. but the white paper data does show that medication helps 90% while instruction and behavioral therapy doesn't provide lasting help). Number three it also allows you to get disability services if required. But guess what you could still do all of the therapy stuff without an ADHD diagnosis by simply learning a whole bunch of coping processes for things related. Like if you're doing a whole bunch of things that are uninteresting and you have things around you that are distracting then you're going to be distracted ADHD or not. You just really need to organize and orchestrate your life around set and setting.