You make friends by being friendly - doing nice for others, even strangers, without expecting reciprocation. Some of these people will become friends.
You keep friends by contacting them at least once a year. I have a lot of my friend's birthdays in my phone calendar. I text them on their birthday and sometimes on Christmas. It's the little things like calling them when they're in the hospital. The current plague is depressing, text your friends a tell them you're thinking of them and bring their spirits up.
I have a vendor that I buy my hardware from. I bring them cookies now and then. (I make cookies and will eat the whole batch if I don't give some away. I thank them for "taking a cholesterol bullet for me".) I expected nothing from them but they are friends now.
If this sounds like a lot of work, be prepare to not have as many friends. And that's OK too.
The book provides strategies for being empathetic, while maintaining boundaries, which I think is where most friendships go wrong, either by breaking or turning toxic
The book is, in my opinion, a bit naive in its worldview and the writing can be self-indulgent, but if you can look past those issue, I think it could be a very valuable suggestion
I think 'mutual' is a key word in friendship. I have worked hard over the years to maintain friendships and have discovered my efforts aren't always recipricated. Stop contacting certain friends and you will find very quickly that they don't get in touch. I have decided to spend much less time on friendships which are not mutual.
If you have 2 or 3 close friends you are doing well. My tips are to listen more and don't just contact people when you are bored. Respond to people when they reach out to you, even if don't feel like it.
When you are feeling sorry for yourself call someone less better off than yourself. I have an older, infirm friend and when I feel sorry for myself I often give him a call. This reminds my problems are just feelings, not real problems.
Finally, my best friend is my wife. Don't ever take your partner for granted if you have one. There are very few people in the world who will ever be actively interested in you.
The second part is more about specific situations like your friend is very ill or you have to decline being a bridesmaid. I recommend it as the concepts explanation might be helpful.
I’ve not yet read “Frientimacy”, and it seems to be a similar book.
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Showing-Up-Yourself-People/dp/161...
Any suggestions for books that you've read and that you found to be really good?
[0]: https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Friendship-Mahzad-Hojjat/d...
The books like How to Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Stephen Covey show you how to be nice.
In Covey's book, he explain about habits 4, 5, 6 which are think win-win, seek first to understand, than to be understood, and synergize. These are interpersonal habits that can be applied to most of common situations.