Did you work too hard in your 20s?

I turn 30 in a week. I didn't work hard and neither did I have fun. The things I wanted to do like get in relationships or have a close knit friend circle never worked out because I just didn't have the people skills to make it happen. My 20s were wasted in nursing my own bruised ego and running behind people who didn't care about me. Neither did I work hard and make something of myself as a career. Most of my time was spent on half finished projects and playing games or Netflix. I maybe had two good years in all my 20s. I wouldn't say it was a complete waste because I at least realized what I was doing wrong but then a part of me also thinks I should had the wisdom earlier so that it could have been better. So overall, I just went through my 20s on autopilot. I couldn't do the things I wanted to do and I what I could do I didn't want to. I felt like I had no choice in my happiness. I was doing things that I thought I should be doing to live up to other people's standards instead of what I really wanted to do...if that makes sense. Now that I'm older, I have decided that I'm not the ambitious type and all I want to do is to chill and have enough money to not live paycheck to paycheck. The rat race is for the birds.

Quite the opposite. I didn't take my career seriously enough in my 20's, didn't save retirement, and had to make up a lot of ground. Spent 10 years in a dead end job, being underpaid. It was hard even finding a new gig because people wondered why my salary was so low, and if it meant I sucked.

Took me about 2-4 years of job hopping to get up to a salary respectable for my level of experience.

Yep. I started working full-time at 21 in 2010 and didn't stop until the beginning of 2020. Currently on a sabbatical (kinda) and passively looking for a new job in EU. In parallel with working full-time and being highly productive on the job (always was a top performer, thanks to mild OCD, I guess), I also married my gf, who gave birth to my son, when I was 24, and did my best to be a good husband and father all along. On top of that, I spent huge amounts of time (at nights, mostly) studying online courses, reading CS books, learning stuff, etc. Finally, at ages 27-30 I was quite involved with open source, in particular, my own projects: bittorrent library, which atm has almost 2K stars on github, and a face detection engine in rust.

All this said, it was definitely a tough period in my life, and I'm kind of happy, that it's over. My son is going to school this fall and does not require as much attention as when he was a toddler. My projects are kinda "finished", meaning that I'm not actively working on them anymore. If I'm reading something nowadays, it's mostly history, philosophy and natural sciences. Having time for myself, playing an occasional video game, going out to skate or just hang around in the city is important to keep sane and not lose the desire to work anymore.

So yeah, I've learnt first hand, what "hard work" really means, and learnt to value free time, leisure and hobbies.

Hell no.

I lived a semi-bohemian lifestyle until I was 30. I worked maybe 25 hours per week and spent a shitload of time working on hobbies and doing hours of yoga every day. I took a lot of drugs, drank, slept around voraciously, and travelled across the US and to countries all over the world.

When I turned thirty I decided it was a good time to do adult stuff, so I did. I never accumulated debt and had always put away a small amount of retirement money through my 20s, so I wasn't terribly far behind. It took about two years to go from making $30k to making $100k.

There are trade-offs, but I'm at peace with my choices. I own a house, still work on my hobbies, got married, and I don't think I'll have many regrets around stuff-I-didn't-get-to-do.

And no, I never had a trust fund.

In my early 20s, I was making minimum wage. I only stayed at this job because it was comfortable and I didn't want to actually take a risk and go somewhere new.

When I reached my mid 20s, the business folded and I was forced to find work elsewhere.

I worked hard from 25-30.

At 30, I lived in Asia for a year (my dream that I couldn't actually realize in my 20s) and worked remotely (low pay and hard work, but was very good pay for where I lived).

Now that I'm almost 40, I have a house and make more money that any of my previous jobs. My job is actually the easiest it's been in decades, mostly because I overworked in my earlier years and working a regular job is rather boring and slow compared to my usual pace.

I think working hard in your 20s is required if you want to have a good life in your 30s+.

I worked the whole time and at times too hard. I've been employed in some capacity or another since I was 17.

As I was approaching 30 I made a career change to tech. I did work too hard during this period because I was working full time and also spending all of my free time teaching myself new skills. Honestly it was a dark period because I wasn't sure if there was a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of breaking into tech and I was very unhappy with my job at the time. I studied on the bus. I studied after work. I studied on the weekends. It was like working two full time jobs.

I got lucky and was able to get a job as a software engineer. I spent the first year working too hard. I reported for my regular hours and then worked every night babysitting upgrades because I felt like I had to prove something or pay something back for the opportunity.

Overall, I think I took myself too seriously in my 20s. I'm glad I put the effort in because it was worth it in a way. But my perspective changed when people close to me started get old, sick, or both and passed away.

My perspective changed and I don't take myself as seriously anymore. However, I still struggle with feeling like my time is going to waste. Sometimes I have hard time relaxing and doing something for fun like video games because it isn't contributing to my personal development. I guess I'm still figuring that out.

29 now. I definitely worked hard. Absolutely no regrets.

First few years out of University I was working 2x as many hours for 1/2 the pay I make now at a startup. But honestly, I had just moved to LA anyway at the time and lived with the people I worked with (we lived/worked from an apartment) so it wasn't a big deal.

Financially I'm in an excellent place (2ish years worth of expenses saved up, more if I left Los Angeles for a low cost of living area). No debt.

Nowadays I don't work as "stressed" anymore, but I get a lot more done and work MAYBE 50 hours on a bad week, usually closer to 40. Probably because I quit drinking during the week and prioritized exercising and learning Chinese in the mornings.

I highly recommend anyone having a tough time prioritizing exercising to just bite the bullet and pay for a personal trainer. Especially if you're making over $80k a year, it's easily the best money I spend. It'll make you less stressed, more confident, and generally happier. People like to work with happy, stress free, confident people so career-wise it's the best money you can spend too.

No. I started college at 21, got hired as a software engineer at 25 in the bay area, and from 25-28 I dated, traveled, partied, and had a fun time. I worked at most 40 hours a week and viewed work as income for my hobbies. I'm 29 now and get contacted by FANG companies all the time for interviews, so I'm assuming my work experience is somewhat decent. I have minimal savings and a substantial amount of debt and I'm not as good of an engineer as I want to be, but I feel like its not too late to turn things around and start working harder now to advance in my career, and I have no regrets about my life experiences.

Nope.

I worked broad though. I held 18 jobs through my 20s -- selling Kirbys (vacuum cleaners) and life insurance, working in China as a 3rd party inspector, bus driver, working on a solar commune, developing custom manufactured parts (think bearings), IT guy (Level I and II) and importing solar panels, among others.

This was not intentional. I just never felt settled and wanted to try a little bit of everything.

I look at my peers (like my wife and my brother), who stuck to one thing are doing far better financially than I am. However, I still don't know if I'd trade places. Some of those experiences were fantastic.

I didn't work too hard in my 20s, but absolutely did in my 30s.

In my 20s, my work week was roughly 40-50 hours at software startups. I very, very, very worked late or on weekends. I had few obligations outside of work, so I had plenty of time to pursue interests, get outdoors, hang out with friends, etc.

By my 30s, I was married and had a kid. I was still in startups, but in positions of higher responsibility. By the end of my thirties, no hour or day seemed sacred and 50-60 hour weeks were the norm. When my son was young, I dropped him off at school and kissed him goodnight in the evening. My wife, who also worked full time, shouldered more than her fair share of the child care load. We finally decided to sell the house in the burbs and move to the city. My commute shrank by an hour each way and being close to home meant I could do school drop off AND participate in after school activities since school, parks, athletic fields, etc. were all a 15 minute WALK from my office.

Now, I'm in my mid-forties. After the startup I was a VP at was acquired, I've lived the big company lifestyle. Most importantly, I'm back to 40-45 hour weeks and feeling far more balanced in my life. My job lets me take the time to spend with my family and doesn't interrupt my nights and weekends, despite still being in a position of higher responsibility.

If I could do any era over, it'd be my 30s. I basically missed ages 1-4 for my son and was not a great husband/partner for my wife.

I question this myself. I worked over 100 hours a week on the 3rd - 6th version of the iPhone. Did I make a lot of money from working there? No not really. More than I made at the 3 startups I joined afterwards .. but only because I didn't sell my stocks. Did I learn a lot yes absolutely, probably about 5 years worth. Has it helped my career: Absolutely. It's opened many doors. I usually get to pick what I want to work on.

Did Paul Graham and Sam Altman both try to convince me to quit and join a yc startup or start my own. Yes at 2 different Startup schools they told me I was wasting my time. Shortly after I did join heed their advice and join 3 separate startups ... with mixed results.

Did I work too hard? Ultimately no, because it's like investing in the market. Yes you think you'd rather have more (booze, travel, video game, etc) at the time, but those things don't improve your life in the long run. And ultimately I wouldn't change where I am today for the world ... minus the pandemic / quarantine / civil unrest.

Yes, I did. Slept at the office during crunchtime, identified myself with a very unhealthy work ethic and got burnt out doing so. Many of my friends have gone through the same thing - I think it's very common if you're a young self taught developer in advertising/startups.

I worked myself to the bone in my 20s. I live in NYC. I can’t remember how many times it was a holiday or weekend night that i was toiling away. I had my own business and wanted it to be successful.It lasted decade, then the industry (print) collapsed, and at 38 I went back for a Masters and transitioned to tech. Most times I read comments on this forum, it is asking if there is some point at which you need to be ‘serious’ or have accomplished as particular goal. In the end I think such questions are pointless. Life is unpredictable. There is a bit of luck and timing in everything. IMHO the most important thing is to stay curious, out of debt, and avoid working for or with jerks. The stress isn’t worth it.

I didn't work particularly hard. Aside from a year or two at near the beginning, I've always worked 40 hours a week. Today (32) I have a house in a nice part of a not expensive city, no debt excluding mortgage, and a well funded 401k.

Yeah.

I graduated college shortly before the 2008 recession and wound up stuck in a very bad, dead end (for my IT career) job. But I was helping put my wife through college.

While it wasn't direct IT work, it was plenty of 'crunch' time with the sort of boss who though that a good 'punishment' was to restrict you to 60 hours for the week Or send you home for the day and have IT lock your account... in either case announcing it loudly so the whole team knows you're the reason they're going to fall further behind.

Yes. I am now 32 and realized how hard my personal life suffered from thinking I could accelerate my career by working as hard as I could starting around 2013.

Sure, I got promoted around once a year and my salary jumped 10-15% per year without ever having to switch jobs. I learned a ton about enterprise software and architecture from real world experience. I went from zero to hero at my last job and became one of the most dependable people in my department in less than a year of working there.

But it took a heavy toll. I went through two wonderful relationships that turned sour from resentment. I worked 58-70hr weeks on average this year with no weekends for four months. The worst was a year ago when I worked 100hrs/wk for 5 weeks straight which led me to severe depression, a failed project, and a missed 10k bonus.

I never had energy to do side projects or anything else except play video games, which didn't counterbalance my work. I spent very little time on cultivating my relationship with my partner so being around them wasn't relaxing. I had ego issues even allowing myself to relax and give myself alone time because it wasn't time spent learning and growing. My life revolved around helping everyone but myself.

I turned down a 42k raise before I left my last job because I knew what the stakes were had I accepted it in exchange for staying. More money and accelerated experience won't give you a happy life. It will destroy it instead.

I finished my last consulting project a week ago and I'm just taking a few weeks to heal. No responsibility, no coding, no stress, no worry, no chip on my shoulder holding a club over my head. I meditate an hour a day now, which is very therapeutic, and I allow myself to play video games all day without judgement. It's time to celebrate me, and I'm loving it.

After I heal, it's time to start my own business. I'm tired of spending my valuable time and energy helping other people become rich while I clean up after every stupid political decision they make. People are way too aggressive on timelines and cost without understanding the consequences on the software and on the morale of their employees. I need to get out of the rat race and attain financial independence, which was my original goal before I worked so hard, I forgot where I was going.

Yes and no. I worked stupid, which was the worst of both worlds. While I did have fun the few years I lived in SF, I spent a few too many weekend afternoons trying to study or work on something, rather than exploring, or hiking, or making new friends. I still work hard out of my 20s, but try to reserve time each week for meaningful activity and leisure. Less so in the last few months...

I did, and was pretty successful for it, but it very nearly cost me my marriage and family, so at ~29 I had to change.

I worked hard but I also travelled a lot. I was in a commited relationship throughout my 20s which made it all the more enjoyable.

But it did seem to go fast. Career wise I have progressed but I've always fantasied about doing the start-up thing. I've never even launched a proper (personal project) website

I'm 30 now. I worked very hard in my 20s (50-70 hour weeks on avg) and eventually burned out badly at 29. While I still consider myself ambitious, I now have a completely different view on work and living in general. I'm very careful about how I spend my time and more aware about my mental health than I've ever been.

I don't know if I regret it though. I learned a lot and had cool experiences. Sometimes I think I needed to go through it to appreciate what I have now.

I will say though that I no longer have a huge desire to work at that "hot" startup. I've worked in one, and while it's cool to talk about at parties, it won't magically make you a happier person.

These days I'd much rather spend time after work with loved ones or tinkering on a silly hobby. I'm really glad I've been able to make peace with that. Like some of the people who posted here, I used to guilt trip myself for not spending every waking hour doing something "productive" - I now realize how toxic that mentality was.

TLDR: I worked a lot, learned a lot, and changed from it to hopefully live a more sustainable lifestyle in the future.

Yes. I made other people rich.

Hell no.