As for me I like to think that I try really hard to monitor my mental health, I suffer from anxiety disorder and my father and mother both had mental health issues at one point in their life, which makes me constantly fear for my mental health and hence my monitoring of my mental state of mind like a hulk.
I’m going to start by saying I have a mood disorder, and I don’t understand anxiety disorders because they’re part of a completely different world from mine. Conversations I’ve had with people that have anxiety disorders have reinforced this idea that I really don’t understand anxiety disorders or relate to them.
The worst parts for me are some times in the past several years when I have moved, changed jobs, changed relationships, and had relatives who passed away. To be clear, when I say “and”, I am talking about many of these things happening at the same time. Having strong relationships, having a therapist, and keeping a regular schedule mean the difference between seeing me as my usual self and seeing me disappear for a few weeks.
I have also decided never again to tell my manager any details about my condition. In the future it is an “unspecified, diagnosed disorder for which I am receiving professional treatment.” I was lulled into a false sense of security by having excellent managers at the beginning of my career and it turns out that I was very lucky; most managers are fairly mediocre and will do damage more often than not if you give them too many details about your mental health. Find somebody else to talk to about it—there are therapists, friends, and support groups e.g. on Facebook.
Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you brain to just observe whats going on in your body instead of being an active participant in the process. You will immediately realize you start feeling less nervous. Similarly, you can try for anxiety.
For more serious problems, it is best to seek medical help on periodic basis. A meetup with doctor every 3 months is reasonable.
My mental health, without any discernible disorders, reached a very low point last year where I essentially stormed out of a HR meeting because I was "toxic", the toxicity revolved around feelings of frustration due to the fact that I couldn't get anyone to look at a problem I had for six months, which led to me informing the internal providers of that service that I would not be using those services for the next project I was a part of. Which hurt many peoples feelings, I suppose.
As part of the stipend for staying (because, I had quit on the spot) I requested a therapist, I saw him a total of 15 times I believe and he coerced me to exercise a lot more, but ultimately failed to find anything "wrong" with me mentally and stated that my behaviour was quite healthy during that period.. (but he might have been just telling me what I wanted to hear as there's little value in antagonising me during therapy, probably).
Anyway, even with excercise, it's far-far too late, I've basically "turned-off" at work, I don't even try, my entire job has become avoiding doing my job.
I still come home tired, exhausted and utterly emotionally drained, but no work is done, and I don't learn, I don't excite my passion.
No winners.
I recently started interviewing in other companies, I'm hoping this feeling doesn't carry over, and I hope I haven't truly lost my passion.
And now at work, I'm being treated poorly by a particular person and he's generally offensive to everyone. He's kind of like my dad in a lot of ways and it's "triggering" me. Managers and HR don't seem to care much. I'm also concerned about retaliation because this guy came here with a handful of other people, a couple of which are extremely high level that can hold me back and give problem guy preferential treatment.
I'm one of few female engineers here and I feel like people with power are looking at me as whiny, it doesn't feel good. I already have too many short stints on my resume so I feel like I can't leave and I suck at tech interviews too...partly because "showing my thought process" is terrifying when I've grown up with all my thoughts and feelings being used as a weapon against me.
I have almost no friends in the city I moved to, I miss my mom and my brother a lot. I could try harder to make some new friends here but work is exhausting and I just don't feel good and I'd rather stay home and cuddle my dog. She is pretty much the only thing that gives me energy. :/
I grew up poor and now I'm making more money than I ever imagined I could so I feel like I can't complain too much, but as soon as I hit the 1 year mark and am no longer obligated to pay back my signing/relocation bonus and fees associated with breaking my lease, I'm moving to be with my SO (if we make it to that point.) It's not worth it.
I do some good old-fashioned journaling by hand. There's never been software for this sort of thing that I liked, and it feels more cathartic to write it by hand than to type it out. It does get hard at times, admittedly, with things like a lackluster job searching experience, friends also having issues, and a host of other issues that you run into in life, but such is life. I'm just trying to do my best to get through it :) Actively making an effort to spend time around others definitely helps.
1. journaling for the feedback loop
2. meditation in times of stress or uncertainty
3. exercise, regularly
4. quality sleep, as close to 8 hours as I can manage
5. a mix of intentionally alone time and social time with others - time alone builds me up, but time with others maintains important relationships
Now things have completely flipped, and it's pretty confusing. I got a job that I like and switched industries from healthcare infrastructure to manufacturing, and I actually believe in my company / like my manager / make a little more money, and by living in a house with 4 friends I've known forever I'm saving a ton. But I also have a 2.5 hour round-trip commute, and live in a city with such bad infrastructure that things like getting groceries have a huge amount of friction associated with them.
The weird thing is that the tiredness/lack of spare time/time dilation that comes with a living situation like this feels like dissociation, and the fact that I can't move forward with my previous goals effectively makes me feel like I am atrophying as a person. I'll probably do this for another year or so.
I dreaded going into work everyday, primarily because of him. I started looking for a new job six months in and I'm still looking.
About a month ago I started working with a remote dev, and it's been like night and day. Not only is he incredibly patient with me, but we have a good rapport and I'm unafraid to ask him questions. While he does give me fair critiques (never harsh), he's also complimented my work which has been a huge bonus.
This new arrangement's supposed to be temporary, and I'm hoping I can work under the remote dev full-time. I'm dreading the possibility that I may work under my original boss again.
But for now, my mental health has improved ten-fold. My original boss still works in the same area as me, and although his presence still gives me some anxiety at least I don't have to converse with him.
It's important to note that you HAVE to want it. If you have any bit of doubt or skepticism, it will work against you.
Just accept it as someone looking to really help and it will help!
When I say I'm struggling to work, I'm struggling to be clear-headed and effective at work. My co-workers are AWESOME and are helping to shoulder the load, and the upper management has been great giving me time to deal with appointments. I am contributing, but I know I'm not up to what I usually do.
I'm presently talking to some mental health professionals while getting the family to step up and help a bit, but it doesn't lessen the strain as much as I had hoped.
I can count several years that were the worst of my life and it didn't make sense to go on -- my first year of graduate school when I got my life's worst grades, my girlfriend left me, I didn't have time for my hobbies, my roommates didn't pay bills in my name and broke my things, etc; also the year my first company almost wen bankrupt and I felt I couldn't trust anyone. Those experiences and getting out of them put my problems today in perspective.
I jump out of bed every morning. I love my work and the people I work with http://joshuaspodek.com/podcast. I'm passionate about my projects. There are hard challenges, but taking them on is the source of my purpose and gives me meaning.
I often feel bad and in those moments I wouldn't write like this. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but past disasters and my lessons from them tell me those moments will pass. My practices of regular exercise, a healthy diet, and sleeping a minimum that's right for me most nights are a solid foundation to build on.
I wrote my books on the NYU courses I teach that develop this lifestyle https://www.amazon.com/Initiative-Proven-Method-Bring-Passio... and https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Step-Become-Person-Others/....
It helps to talk about my life with someone intelligent who isn't involved in any way.
Gives me some new perspectives.
I'm kinda neurotic (probably normal for a millenial, haha), but it's often hard for me to see the good things in life.
Apart from that, I take time to do things that are in no way related work so I go to the Cinema with non-IT people, I joined a cycling club where the only rules are that you're not allowed to talk shop or politics and we just trundle about talking about all sorts, what ever really.
Outside of that, I try and integrate exercise into my day so like, get off a bus stop early to work or cycle instead of talking the bus when it's not to cold or wet.
At the end of the week, I get off early to see my therapist and we just shoot the shit really and talk about all sorts, or sit in silence. I don't get the process, but it works whatever it is for the most part. As long as I'm not stressed, things generally aren't terrible, but they ain't always great either
- Personality psychology is insanely powerful and useful when it comes to understanding people / situations. An introduction to theories of personality Book by Robert B Ewen is gold.
Have you ever had gut instinct about how someone acts/a phenomena but lacked the words to express it? A distrust/discomfort, déjà vu, or feeling someone is being motivated by dredging up an issue from their past and trying to recreate it with you, to "try it on" you like a Cinderella slipper? (Could be in a good or bad way)
When you grasp the concepts, it can go well into looking at your family / upbringing, yourself, selecting a partner, personalities to distrust/avoid, etc.
Also you may find yourself liking concepts from Freud / Jung / Adler / Horney / Bowlby+Ainsworth and so on. That alone can give you a more informed perspective on behavior.
- Here's an example of professor using the above tools to dissect Twilight (haven't saw the movie or read it yet): Deconstructing Twilight: Psychological and Feminist Perspectives on the Series New edition Edition by Donna M. Ashcraft. She also written a personality theories workbook.
- Object relations stuff is absolutely awesome. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Myk352wMSs. IMO it's far easier to digest if you grasp psychodynamic theories above.
- Projective identification: https://youtu.be/cBnZiP3W3ao?t=1215
- You can then take it into individual (like schema therapy https://www.guilford.com/excerpts/young.pdf) and family therapy methods (e.g. Bowenian https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLQOWoom2d0) where the concepts on the stuff above occur
I was diagnosed 5 years ago with BPD, has gotten better over the years(mostly by just life exposure I guess), I still get huge situational flare-ups, stuff about work or family, but I no longer react like a cornered animal, even at my worst I realise "this thing sucks at an intensity of 8/10, most likely it will subside in a day or two if I go back on buspirone, and if not, I have benzodiazepines as backup, sleep aids and so on".
Some of you may not know but many tech companies, especially in the Bay Area, has mental healthcare benefits via their EAP (Employee Assistance Program). You should find out from your HR. The one I work for makes a point of making it super easy to find a therapist for the patient and the appointments can be done in person or over video. EAPs are generally free. Please use it if you feel like you need it and take care of yourselves. Don't try to shrug it off -- approach it like how you would with other forms of health care.
I never tell my friends about my issues. I can't even imagine how that conversation would go: "What happened about your last job?" "Oh, I can't reply to emails..."
I've discovered this in the past months, where, for the first time, I've only had one single project at work instead of more than two. Before, I blamed this inability to focus on the amount of different issues and projects (that were mostly non-related in terms of subjects) that I had but now...
Now I find it's equally hard to focus on the one thing without getting distracted - and adrenaline helps to get the focus, so my weekly productivity looks just like before with more projects, just fewer peaks.
I've only got an appointment in January for diagnosis but since the DSM-V wasn't updated in terms of adult ADHD, a diagnosis involves answering questionnaires about when you were a kid more than the actual situation now.
Edit: typo
I won't go into the details; except to say that is was so traumatic I was blind to the scar that she left on my penis (my first real GF asked me how I got it at when I was 18, and even though it was plain as day I never noticed it!). I had no memory of her attack until about 40 years later, and I suffered severe headaches and bloody nightmares those for 40 years.
The day I remembered her attack the nightmares ended and I virtually never get any headaches--and when I do, half an aspirin cure's them; they are not the debilitating monsters that formerly haunted me. I know I have PTSD but its not easy to deal with my past... I get nauseous thinking about it (here it comes now in fact) but I'm better than I was before so, we'll keep chipping away at it for now. I have told one doc about this in detail a few years ago and an online chat buddy who was assaulted when she was a girl is a huge help in this.
Seeing a doctor in person is a really time-consuming (and expensive if you're in the US and don't have good insurance), but Doctor on Demand/Teladoc makes it relatively cheap and easy to see a therapist who can actually prescribe any help you out.
I've learnt that the following are important:
* Keep in contact with friends. Isolation is a killer to my mental health. * Don't burn out. Long hours destroy my ability to focus then I get down about my ability to work. This leads to a depression like state that is hard to shake. * Avoid behavious I disagree with. Everyone has a moral code they live by. I find if I do things that violate mine the internal conflict is very destructive to me mental health. * Avoid addictions. Name your vice here. I have an addictive personality keeping away from addictions is key to staying sane. * Never play the victim. I'm always able to improve my life somehow even if it's just developing a better internal view of my external circumstances. My happiness is my own doing.
- Improve physical health -> I walk the dog, run, kite surf. Exercise make you feel healthy and better.
- Expressing myself -> Participate in discussions (like this), talk about issues, explain problems to someone. Expressing yourself greatly improves your own mental state.
- Making Things -> creating things (programming, woodworking), work on many side projects, learn/refine skills.
- Trying Comedy -> Not standup, just trying to make people laugh in conversation is rewarding and improves your brain.
- Focusing on Relationships -> Friends, family, partners; can help you improve yourself and remind you your not alone.
Hmmm, it looks like all these concepts are entangled with each other anyway.... (Note to self: express yourself more clearly)
I have little questionnaires and signposts that I have developed for myself. I write a weekly-ish email to a list of friends, and if I don't have anything to say, I know that I haven't had enough time for reflection, which will make everything else cascade. It's not the reflection itself, but the absence of reflection is a good proxy. Similarly, I try to stay aware of how "tattered" my mental state is.
Sleep, diet, enough space in my life where reflection occurs naturally, and enough physical exertion that I don't feel awful are the biggest factors at this point.
So what now?
* You acknowledge that most stress comes from value system miss-alignment and its implications.
* You start or continue doing whatever you can to get the real issues fixed.
* You need to come to a place where you are able to survive today
* Exercise
* Read Kafka
* Read the meditations of Marcus Aurelius
* Find a friend https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3CBOpT2-NRvoc2ecFMDCsAIn the first 2 weeks, I did absolutely nothing and was encouraged to watch some react tutorials on youtube. I bugged them multiple times stating I wanted to work on something and feel productive. After 2 weeks, I was placed on a team working on a web app that was tied together by duct tape. With only 1 week of react knowledge, it wasn't hard to spot that this code was a mess, especially the styling side of things was painful. They tasked me with making the site responsive, for which they provided me with the mobile screens and said good luck. They use a mix of Styled components, css, scss and style attributes. 95% of the pages were written with hardcoded margins and paddings which led me to essentially rewrite almost all of the layout. It was mentally draining. Once I was finally finished with this the client wanted a rebranding and they essentially changed a lot of the styling and layout, so I was back to square one, luckily while making it responsive I stripped out a lot of double css rules and added variables to make it easier to work with some colours and margins etc.
On top of this scrum is only partly being used, so clients get free reign mid-sprint, a scrum board doesn't exist, story points aren't really discussed they are just guestimated by the Project manager and all tasks are listed as git issues with about a million different labels.
I'm now on a new team where I actually have an interesting project however, the specs keep changing. The senior developer didn't have faith in my implementation, which led to me implementing his idea only for him to realize I was right in the first place. There is no involvement and no one wants to pick up responsibility to the point where I also stopped caring, which I guess is what happened to everyone else here. Wages are low in this country but all the customers are in Europe so it is kind of starting to feel like I'm just really cheap labor for them.
It's just really draining, the traffic here is really bad which causes me to leave in the dark and get home in the dark. There are 2 and a half more months to go and I don't really see it getting better.
Please tell me not all internships are like this and things will get better. Also any tips are welcome, I might be naive or lack experience and I'm just seeing things the wrong way.
And it is going to ramble a bit. There is a summary at the end.
Shortly after 11am Pacific, 12 days ago, on his 74th birthday, my father walked into the backyard of his home of 42 years, sat in a lawn chair, and used a .357 magnum revolver to end his life.
He played virtually no role in raising me; at my parents request, his parents became my legal guardians when I was six years old, and prior to that, I spent most of my time at their house anyway.
His parents had only a single child, and my parents had only a single child.
I lived in my dad's house for five years in the 1980s while attending university, but working a full time job and taking 50% more classes than a full load meant I was almost never home and awake at the same time. Since then, except for some long pauses, we've communicated mostly via e-mail, with fewer than half a dozen phone calls.
His first wife, my mother, left him in the mid 1970s and he re-married a year later. His 2nd wife, Jane, had even less connection to me.
My grandparents were excellent guardians and parents, and I was nurtured and well cared for.
Jane died a few years ago after being married to my dad for 38 years after a prolonged and terrible fight with breast cancer. Nine years prior, she had forbidden him to communicate with me, and he had agreed, so I'd not heard from him in most of a decade.
He contacted me the day after she died via e-mail. Near the end of her life, she had given him the go ahead to resume communications with me after she died.
Born in the mid 1940s, my father would very likely be evaluated as being on the autistic spectrum as things are seen today. Just like his father and his son.
He had an easy charisma, but that was very shallow: he was functionally socially retarded. Besides the small number of women in his life, he had created almost no substantial social bonds.
When we did communicate, we got along quite well, but, in a fairly friendly but irresistible way, he almost sought to 'manage' the conversation, moving it in his own interests and directions. And there was always at least a mild to moderate negative/paranoid tone.
In general, even though the overall communications were cordial and friendly, I didn't really like to engage with him, because I felt a little worse about things after. Not a lot, but a bit.
Anyway, about a year after Jane's death, he met and started building a relationship with another woman, named Rosie. She is about 14 years younger than him. And their relationship blossomed, though with some troubling caveats.
She insisted he tell nobody about her or their relationship, and said she could not tell her family about it, for various seemingly, on the surface, plausible reasons. Of course he told me about it, since I was the only other person in the world he really talked to.
Though she didn't ask for it directly, last year he took most of the value out of his house and bought her a nice condo.
Moving ahead more briefly, she dumped him in February 2019. He was shattered, and rightly felt betrayed. He began to plan his exit at that time, eight months before his birthday.
He and I continued to exchange e-mails, perhaps one per week, and I had no hint or indication of his plans.
As was his style, every detail had been taken care of. He placed a 'packet' on the kitchen table: burial clothes, a note, a legal copies of various legal documents. That morning, he put a large package of all kinds of legal documentation, along with 15 pages of explanation and other important information in the mail, to be delivered to me the next day. He had enumerated where everything of value could be found in the house, which he had almost completely emptied. Included was detailed contact information: mortuary, lawyers, information on the reverse mortgage he had taken out, and detailed hand-written notes explaining all sorts of relevant details.
He setup a 'direct burial', next to Jane, in the Riverside National Cemetery, since he was a veteran. 'direct burial': no service, just straight from coroner to mortuary to the ground.
He and Jane took care of and loved many cats and a couple of dogs over the years, and that work brought them great joy. Rosie insisted that he get rid of all of his pets, and he did so.
The homicide detective I spoke to said that this was the most straightforward case she'd ever seen. His body cleared the Los Angeles County coroners office in a single day, which the mortuary had a hard time believing was possible.
He died as he lived: with meticulous planning and attention to detail.
Here he is, 69 or 70 years of age, a quick photo of his drivers license. Before this photo, the last time I had seen him was in 2004, before he started working out. This picture was striking because I'd never seen him have a 'thin' face.
http://www.realms.org/pics/robert-diederich-drivers-license-...
This event has been challenging for my wife, son and I but not shattering, since none of us had any kind of non-surface relationship with him.
But it has brought into focus a few things.
In summary: building and maintaining multiple personal connections is critically important. My father was in the fullness of health, even in his 70s, working out several hours every morning.
Fundamentally, why did he choose suicide? At this time, I'd say the most proximate cause was the terrible, untimely death of his wife. But that didn't need to be the end. He had never learned how to create and maintain healthy relationships. Why? That's hard to say with any certainty, but (probably) being on the autism spectrum likely played a part.
I'll end this ramble here: the one thing he repeated most often in our communications over the years was the importance of holding my wife and son very close. In truth, their presence has helped bring me through many difficult times over the decades.
Rest in peace, dad.
Robert W. Diederich
October 24th, 1945 - October 24th, 2019
Cheers,
-Dana
PS: Thank you for reading this.
1. What are some good resources to get into meditation? I’ve tried several times and I feel like I keep starting in the wrong place with overgeneralized information. I don’t think I know anyone in real life that does it either.
2. How do you deal with some anxieties that might be brought on by age? I find my mind wandering to existential things I’ve never cared about before more and more frequently as I age. I haven’t found a great way to deal with it yet.
I was thinking of getting a life coach or something similar. Does anyone have experience with that?
To end on a positive note, I'm eating well (mainly a plant based diet) and working out more than normally within the last few years.
But... I will actually link you to my competitor. They have a much more polished and stable software now, they are the biggest player in the space of mood tracking and loved by its users: https://daylio.webflow.io/ (They have a generous free plan)
I manage it by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, relatively clean diet, and most importantly, appreciating/enjoying what I do have right now.
Otherwise fine. I guess I could use more/better relationships but am working on it. Occasionally there'll be a 8 or 12 hour stretch that is barely tolerable, but I tell myself everything shall pass and then it does, so.
I'm currently physically not well, I have the symptoms of hypopituidarism with all the hormonal imbalance issues and it's taken a mental toll. waiting to get my brains scanned.
I'm burnt out, not because of my work but my physical health makes my work mentally too hard and tiring for me.
So, I'm gonna quit after taking a longer sick leave. I made up my mind a few months ago and I've just tried to finish in up my loose ends at work, but haven't disclosed any of my issues to anyone at work yet. it's a bit shitty thing to do, but I'm awkward and I'd feel bad if I knew I'd have to go back there for a month after handing in my resignation.
So, there's that basically.
Episode one will be out tomorrow morning!
My wife wants to have kids but I don't think it would be at all responsible with my mental health the way it is to have kids. Shit sucks. I have a great relationship with my wife and with my parents. I grew up in an upper middle class family in a stable home. I was never bullied.
SSRIS makes me super tired, to the point I fall asleep when taking them. I am already low energy, so with SSRI's it is completely unworkable. Besides I feel like a zombie on them. I am a runner, am not overweight, and have a good diet. Still energy levels are low. My most happy time is my daily run.
I went to 2 different therapists like 2 years ago. I left both of them because it felt like I was paying for someone to pretend to care and they didn't care about me at all. It is probably not at all true, but my brain views stuff this way. I should go to therapy again, but I live in America. I am scared they will put me on some kind of list, either government or employee blacklist if I do. Also it is expensive and I am terrified of being fired and becoming homeless.
I often write long messages like this, send it, and then panic about it hours or days later and delete them. There are random people at work that for whatever reason my brain got scared of and I can't even look at them. This makes things super awkward, because they just think I am an ass. I don't actually not like them, my brain just panics seeing them. They weren't mean to me or anything. My goal is to get into a top company, save a lot so I can retire or withstand any worsening in my mental health.
I get panic attacks in about a third of job interviews. I felt like I was fairly close to getting into one of the faangs, but my anxiety made me preform worse than I should. I will probably try to again, but the interview circuit isn't that fun when you are guaranteed to get a panic attack.
I feel like I am in the mental health closet like gay people used to have to be in the closet. I am not a danger to anyone. I wouldn't hurt a fly. I am just not as pleasant to be around as someone with no mental health issues.
Mentally. Not very well. This is an area in need of improvement for me. I'm mid-30s and mental health is getting to be pretty important as of late.
> , particularly for those with a history of mental health issues, and those with a family history of mental issues.
TBQH I think that means everyone.
I live in America. In America, mental health takes a backseat to just about everything. Man up and get work done. If you've got a mental issue then feel free to get fired because there's a dozen more people behind you waiting to be employed for just as cheap. If you can't afford to be fired then that's just too bad.
I don't trust insurance companies. Outside of insurance, therapists are expensive as !@#$, particularly if you're poor. You're paying for someone else's time and "time is money, friend."
My employer's insurance has an Employee Assistance Program. I looked at it and... therapy is over the phone??? I would never talk therapy to someone over the phone. First I have a lot of trouble understanding people on the phone. The audio quality is poor to begin with but I genuinely have trouble hearing/understanding/remembering/responding to words people say. There's a ton of body language which is just gone when you're talking on the phone (or VOIP or even webcam). There's a delay between transmission and reception. Then there's also the fact that phones aren't secure. I have trust issues so security is important.
I have literally no idea how to even find a therapist other than asking my employer's insurance company for a list. I don't want to do that. I don't want to tip anyone off to think "oh man @inetknght is a mental case, we'd better fire them" or "@inetknght thinks dark thoughts, we need to put them in a mental cell" which is basically a permanent thing (good luck getting out of a mental cell). I know there are different kinds of therapists and I have no idea how to find the "right" kind nor how to find the right trustworthy kind. I have no idea how to find someone I could trust.
A lot of that is part of growing up poor, nearly destitute. So I've had no direct opportunities to be diagnosed with any sort of mental issues either. Mental health wasn't covered under my parents' insurance (when we had even some health insurance), and was never part of any school program (not that I had much school), and no employer seemed interested in the mental health of employees. Growing up, I'd heard many anecdotes about people who had a mental breakdown and were quickly dismissed from employ so I definitely never mentioned it merely out of fear of "oh is this something we should worry for you, uniquely? then you're fired". Literally nobody even asked about my mental health until after I was 30.
I'm willing to admit that I'm terrified of going to a therapist. Terrified of the therapist thinking I'm a nutcase when all I did is grow up on the internet with a different set of social values than those around me. Terrified that one therapist would think my rights need to be taken away. So I bury my head and don't tackle the problem because there isn't an easy trustworthy discrete door to go into. There's no way I'd trust any business with my mental health. Not insurance, not a silicon valley startup, and not my employer. No way in hell.
I also know that if there's an emergency then I have friends who I trust to help. They're more than I used to have a few years ago; I used to be depressed to the edge of suicide. My friends have helped a lot in fixing that. They're not therapists. They're more support than what others might have, though, and that means a lot to me.
Tracking mental health? That sounds like a good direction. I'm not opposed to an app to do that but I wouldn't put that on my phone. Nor would I put it on my computer. I wouldn't put it anywhere with internet access. Requiring internet access would be a non-starter.
